Gretchen Stahlman

Fairport, NY

When my son first said he wanted to enlist, I’d just fall into tears. All I could imagine was him being hurt, or worse, in war. He was very patient, very persistent, and eventually I got past the tears was able to say, No, he wasn’t allowed to enlist. Again, he patiently waited until I understood that it wasn’t my decision to make. It was his decision; my decision would be whether to support him and join in this experience or to turn away and wallow in my own fear. In a few months, my son will be ending his term in the Corp. In those four years, I’ve seen a young man emerge from the boy who left for boot camp in saggy jeans and a sloppy t-shirt. This new young man is confident, ambitious, and motivated to make a great life for himself. That was always inside of him but was so well camouflaged by his teenage cynicism that sometimes it seemed like a mirage. Somehow he knew what was best for him and what he needed to do to become who he was meant to be. My son enlisted but I was drafted into the role of mother of a warrior. I would not have chosen that for myself but now I see that it has changed me too. It has made me stronger than I had ever thought possible by having to face down my fears. The Marine Corps made my son a better man, but it also made me a better Mom.